


An Angel's Will

by delicious_kale



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Season/Series 04, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 21:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2204049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicious_kale/pseuds/delicious_kale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I thought I was a good son, a good soldier; now I see that it was not God’s will but my own."<br/>Involving a romantic explanation for Cas being the one to raise Dean from Hell. Takes place between 4-16 and 4-17</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Angel's Will

Most nights Dean would lie awake in a cheap motel bed, eyes plastered to the ceiling, fighting off sleep. When Dean finally relented his own mind would betray him, pulling him back down into the pit. An arms breadth away, Sam was a steady presence anchoring him to this life. This life, Dean thought, that molded his body into a weapon and twisted his soul in the name of destiny.

Dean felt the purr of the Impala as her engine sputtered to life. Streetlamps illuminated the road up ahead, scattering yellow-white halos on the black tar. Dean eased her out of the lot and turned left. With his gaze straight ahead and his mouth set in a grim line, Dean drove on. The silence crept in and taunted him with knowing eyes. Eyes of the deepest, most piercing cerulean.

Dean’s hands shook ever so slightly as he turned on the radio. Must be the cold, Dean reasoned. But he knew the truth. He knew it as the spectral pair of eyes in the dark, as the weight of words unspoken, as the flutter of wings and the echo of no goodbye.

"Dammit, Cas!" Dean slammed his palm against the steering wheel. A moment later, Dean's jaw slackened as he saw Castiel sitting next to him. "What...what the hell, man?"

"I heard you and I came. Is everything alright, Dean?" Castiel spoke with measured concern, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Dean pulled over onto the side of the road and turned to face the angel. After a long moment, Dean breathed. "What am I doing here, Cas?"

"Yes, where are you headed exactly? Does Sam know of your leaving?"

"That's not important." Dean bit his lower lip and tore his eyes away from Castiel. "Cas, when you found me I wasn't myself. You came along and you dragged my ass back up here. I want to know why."

Castiel cocked his head to the side and squinted at Dean. "I do not understand your question. You know my orders."

"Don't give me that. Why did you come for me? Why you and not one of your angel buddies?" Dean spat.

"Dean, please."

Dean's voice was low and hoarse. “Answer me Cas or I swear to God…”

The angel flinched. His blue eyes met Dean's green ones in a silent plea. Castiel opened his mouth as if to speak and then pursed his lips. "Get out of my car."

"Dean," Castiel scrunched his brow, his eyes gleaming with longing and regret. "Don't do this."

Dean shouted, "Leave. Now!" Dean didn't have to look beside him to know that the  
angel had done as he was told.

 

When the light of dawn filtered through the papery, yellowed curtains and burned his tired eyes, Dean felt tears wet his cheeks. He tasted the salty, bitter sadness on his lips. It would be a few more hours before Sam awoke and by then he would get it together, Dean told himself. Sure enough, Sam scarcely gave Dean a second look after he refused breakfast. I suppose Sammy's got enough issues of his own, thought Dean.

Dean flipped open Sam's laptop and occupied himself by searching local news sites for jobs. Several minutes and no hits later, a familiar "Hello" shattered Dean's concentration and sent his thoughts on a rampage. Dean set the laptop down and stood to face the angel, who incidentally looked no better than he felt. Gazing solemnly at Dean, Castiel continued. "I will give you the answers you desire, if you still want to hear them." Dean, rendered speechless, nodded in assent. "I thought I was a good son, a good soldier; now I see that it was not God’s will but my own. Once I knew that you were the Michael Sword I began to listen for your name and soon your history became my own. I never saw you but I was always there, waiting. When I heard of your death, I knew that you had to be saved. I knew that I had to be the one to pull you out. When the time came I scoured Hell for the broken pieces of your soul and put them back together."

Dean's right hand went to the burn on his other shoulder, a gesture that looked almost instinctual. His eyes, wide with shock, found Castiel's. The angel took a step forward and then two more and finally came to stand before Dean. Castiel placed the palm of his hand atop Dean's and intertwined their fingers. And then they were just holding hands. "Cas," Dean sighed. "What am I supposed to say to that?"

Castiel stared intently at Dean and dropped his hand. Dean parted his lips in a question and before he knew what was happening Dean felt the soft press of Castiel's mouth on the corner of his. A whisper of lips on lips; a promise. Dean pulled away slowly and traced his fingertips down Castiel's jawline, relishing the feel of his rough stubble. Castiel closed his eyes at the sensation and soon felt the heat of Dean's mouth as it covered his. Castiel gasped and his eyes flew open. Dean yanked Castiel's tie, closing the space between them. As their mouths clashed Dean felt Castiel's tongue lick his lips, begging for entrance. Dean moaned against Castiel's mouth and twined his fingers in his hair. Cas was inexperienced, yes, but deliberate in every movement, thought Dean. It was unbearably sexy. Castiel's hand found the back of Dean's neck, pulling him closer. Dean explored Castiel's mouth with his tongue; the angel tasted like ambrosia itself. A few moments later they broke apart, cheeks flushed and breathing hard. Castiel rested both his hands on Dean's shoulders and touched his forehead to Dean's. Dean felt Castiel’s hot breath on his skin. “Dean,” the angel spoke, his voice low and gravelly. “I would like to try that again.”

Dean swallowed the laugh that rose in his throat, his face splitting into cheeky grin. “Only if you’re sure.”

“Yes.” Dean saw a smile play on the angel’s lips and brighten his eyes. Ever since he came back from Hell, Dean had felt a change in himself. Like a car that had been taken apart and rebuilt from the ground up, its parts never fitting together in quite the same way. When Dean looked at his angel, he knew. “Of course it’s you. Only you,” Dean murmured.

**Author's Note:**

> My very first fanfic! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it :)  
> Comments/reviews are welcome


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